I’ve never considered myself to be an “artsy” type. The older I’ve gotten though, the more I value creating and practicing the arts. When I was growing up, my love for sports always came before piano practice. My artwork was always considered average by the art teacher, and I never won a coloring contest or had my picture chosen to represent anything extraordinary. That’s ok. I think early on, I realized that doing something artsy, was more of a blessing for myself than for others.
The tears came and that’s ok. I needed to let them out. I’m healing, but I’m not healed. Mother’s Day was a reminder that I won’t get what my heart truly longs for until we’re ALL together in heaven.
Because of those songs, I learned some very valuable promises of God and experienced watching the joy on my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles faces as we sang about heaven someday.
I know that I have been blessed, but my grief tells me otherwise and reminds me of all the things that have been taken away from me because she’s gone. We’ll never get to experience the joys of seeing her graduate, marry, have children, etc… the list could go on and on.
Tomorrow is your birthday. Such a special day to us and always celebrated, but this year it feels so different. I still want and need to celebrate you, but there is such a cloud of grief still hanging over my head because I just ache to be near you… to hear your laugh, see your smile, and look into your eyes. What I wouldn’t give to hug you! That cloud lifts at times and I’m able to feel the warmth of the sun. It’s helping.
In the quiet
Dead on the inside
Still within my grief
You whisper to my broken heart…
I’ve always liked the spring time. My love for gardening and flowers as a young adult just intensified my love for this time of year. Seeing the green shoots of spring bulbs bursting forth towards the warmth of the sun is so exciting. I often find myself looking daily at the ground where some ofContinue reading “This Season”