Life goes on, but my heart still hurts. We knew that after the hard past couple of years, that we needed to move forward and take a family trip. Usually family vacations are so fun to plan and there’s so much to look forward too, but when you’re grieving, even vacation planning looses it’s excitement. It becomes one of those things that you know is good for you, but you’re just not feeling it.
Because of those songs, I learned some very valuable promises of God and experienced watching the joy on my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles faces as we sang about heaven someday.
I’ve been wondering
As I’ve been pondering
The things that you must know
Once you’ve stepped through
Once you break through
To heaven, now your home.
I know that I have been blessed, but my grief tells me otherwise and reminds me of all the things that have been taken away from me because she’s gone. We’ll never get to experience the joys of seeing her graduate, marry, have children, etc… the list could go on and on.
Tomorrow is your birthday. Such a special day to us and always celebrated, but this year it feels so different. I still want and need to celebrate you, but there is such a cloud of grief still hanging over my head because I just ache to be near you… to hear your laugh, see your smile, and look into your eyes. What I wouldn’t give to hug you! That cloud lifts at times and I’m able to feel the warmth of the sun. It’s helping.
In the quiet
Dead on the inside
Still within my grief
You whisper to my broken heart…