Some days I just can’t-
look at your pictures,
listen to your voice,
hold your things,
hear your songs…
Not because I don’t miss you,
but because I miss you so much.
Some days I can-
look in your eyes,
listen to your laugh,
smell your scent,
and sing along-
Because I miss you and
it seems like you’ve been gone so long.
Some days I just can’t
breathe
or even make myself move
the weight of missing you
sits on my chest like a giant rock
and won’t let me up until I sob.
It’s suddenly like we just lost you
and I can’t believe you’re gone.
Some days I can-
go with a friend for a while,
leave my house and shop in a store,
go outside and watch the clouds,
But, even when I do-
I’m always missing you.
Though your death isn’t new
It will never be normal.
The complexities of grief
have made me different.
Which version of me, without you,
will I be today?
