Sweet 16

Dear Sarah,

Tomorrow is your birthday.  Such a special day to us and always celebrated, but this year it feels so different.  I still want and need to celebrate you, but there is such a cloud of grief still hanging over my head because I just ache to be near you… to hear your laugh, see your smile, and look into your eyes.  What I wouldn’t give to hug you!  That cloud lifts at times and I’m able to feel the warmth of the sun.  It’s helping. 

It’s been 7 months since you went to heaven.  I’m guessing that time is different in heaven.  The agony of waiting to see each other probably doesn’t exist there.   Surely the need for patience and waiting is part of the curse.   I like to think you can see us, and if so, I hope you can still feel the love that we feel and project towards you.  You’re never far from our thoughts, even though we try to go on with life here in this place.  Your absence has changed us.  We no longer feel at home in this world.  I think that’s ok though.  As followers of Jesus, we were never meant to.  Your journey to heaven has taught us so much.  Your willingness to allow God to use your story for His glory has forever changed eternity for many people.  As your mom, I’m so proud of you.  As a human, I’m inspired to be a better person.  As a follower of Jesus, I’m humbled by you.  You taught us that even at the age of 15 you can do big things for God.  I’m sure that your desire for others to know Jesus is even stronger now that your physically with Him and you’ve seen all that’s been promised to us.   Your light still shines bright and I’m often reminded that even the darkness of grief cannot hide it. 

We have a gift for you.  I hope it’s something that makes you smile.  However, just like when you were here with us, I’m not going to reveal your gift until your actual birthday.  Looking forward to celebrating you tomorrow in a way that honors you, and pays tribute to the things you cared about, but is also fun. 

We love you Sarah Rose!

Love,

Mom